Two out of 100 teenagers in China have been diagnosed with depression according to statistics released by the National Health Commission at the end of 2024.

The average age of teenagers diagnosed with the condition for the first time is 13, according to a survey co-conducted by the Institute of Psychology with the Chinese Academy of Sciences and Dogo, a youth depression support platform.

In the face of such shocking numbers, many Chinese parents feel helpless, blaming the issue on teenage hormones, pressure from exams or the bad influence of other children.

Over the past eight years, author Chen Xingjia has been deeply engaged in the field of adolescent mental health. An adolescent mental health project he founded, "Robin", has so far helped more than 60,000 families around the country.

Chen is increasingly convinced of a harsh conclusion: behind every child with problems, there is a 100 percent certainty that the same child has one or two problematic parents. The root of a child's apparent behavioral issues often lies in an imbalance in the family.

"But this is good news. Because the root of the problem lies in the family, the key to solving the problem is in our own hands," Chen said at the recent launch event in Beijing of his new book Ni, Shi Haizi De Qianzhuan (You Are the Prequel to Your Child). At the event, he and Luo Zhenyu, the founder of the online learning app iGet, discussed how parents should handle their children when they suddenly become difficult or defensive, like a "hedgehog".

Chen was once a civil servant. In 2015, he was recognized as a "National Outstanding County Party Secretary". In 2017, he resigned and founded the Ever Care Charity Foundation, which is based in Shenzhen, Guangdong province, and provides assistance to children and adolescents with serious illnesses, along with educational support.

As a father himself, Chen went through a whole decade of issues with his son, beginning in junior high school and lasting until he graduated from university. This personal experience allows Chen to empathize with the struggles faced by families during their children's adolescence.

He organized a team to learn psychology from top experts and family therapy from leading consultants. They established parenting classes in every pilot school and developed an AI product called "Qijia AI Family Psychology Coach" to empower parents through a systematic approach.

His new book is a summary of his eight years of experience with his charity, and includes analysis and many real-life cases, trying to encourage parents to "heal" themselves rather than teaching them to "fix" their children.

The book not only offers a structured system and theory but also includes 38 sets of methods and actionable exercises, covering over 40 actual scenarios.

Why is your child becoming less willing to talk to you? What does it mean to truly listen, and how can you rebuild your child's trust? How can a busy father reestablish a connection with his child? When a child is experiencing issues like depression and self-harm, or refusing to attend school, how can you find solutions with a clearer mindset, in addition to seeking medical help?

The book provides step-by-step guidance on acceptance, how to initiate conversations, and how to meet challenges.

One of the most important aspects of the book is that it has transformed complicated psychological theories into methods that parents can easily use, says Peng Kaiping, professor of psychology at Tsinghua University.

"From empathy and coaching-style questions to emotional management and a growth mindset, each psychological concept is applied to real family situations. What makes it even more valuable is that Chen Xingjia is not just teaching techniques but helping parents realize that a child's psychological issues are often rooted in the family system. This kind of systemic thinking is exactly what today's parents need the most," Peng says.

"If life is a book, you are the prequel to your child. The way we handle emotions forms the foundation of our child's character; the way we face setbacks is the source of our child's future courage," Chen says.